Last leg of the race, just keep going

I really want to be able to make it through. I really want to prove all those who have had look down on me, wrong. The fact that I would not be able to further my studies in European countries with my current pre university studies. I still believe that I have chosen the right, or rather suitable path for myself. i have no regrets for the past decisions I made. But the fact of meeting the entry requirement is really suffocating me up. I have indeed tried to give my best shot each time. And I am just slightly above the required grades. But this ain't good enough for me. I have to give twice or thrice of the effort as compared to others, basically because I have to be independent, and not to rely on my parent. I have to really work a million times harder than the rest. Yet sometimes I just feel so, so tired. And I feel like giving up. But sometimes in life giving up isn't an option for me. I really want to pursue my dreams. I really want to be the first one who managed to break the cycle in this family. I longed for it. 

It had all come down to this final leg of the race. I have to hang in there, keep my head held high and continue marching forward! 

A constant reminder to self, that tomorrow will be better :)

I don't know how to do this.

感觉上似乎要崩溃了， 我不知道我自己还能撑多久。这种感觉让我很想哭，却哭不了。 很辛苦， 很难受。 我不想放弃这一切， 我要坚持到底， 我必须坚持下去。 我不可以放弃。

:(

A reminder to self

Not everyone gets the spotlight. Not everyone gets the same opportunity. Life is unfair. So you have got to work your ass off to achieve it. Persevere. To the end.

Finish strong :) 

Sparing some time for myself in this chilly Friday morning at the school's library.

*inhales-exhales-streatch arms and probably crack some knuckles*

Finally some time to write! Well life was pretty good for the past one month as there are less tests, assignments and of course overall workloads! June passed by just like a dash and by the time you realize it's gonna be July soon. Slacking time is over and of course it's time to start preparing for the battle, as in my Mock Examination and also the final year end WACE examination. In the mean time, I shall still conitnue enjoying my two dasy sem break, or should I say four days sem break inclusive of the weekeneds? Hahah :) I am still gratefful that at least they have the break on Monday! No more Monday blues :)

And I really find AUSMAT college life real interesting as in I've come to meet a lot of new people in diffrent paths of life. Starting from my college mates to the SCF members and now the Athletic Club members! They have all inspired me differently, especially the lecturers. It is all superb I could say. So much more to learn and everything seems exciting and fun!! And english lessons are finally getting more interesting than ever before! The knowledge I bound to receive, everything is just so enjoyable.

And recently I've also watched Freedom Writers, which gave me a whole damn lot of inspiration. It made me feels so motivated to achieve my goals and the desire to be a teacher, well that is still pending. Erin Gruwell (Ms G) as the teacher in the movie is just amazingly awesome.Well I have some other careers in mind too, where I would always want to be a successful financial analyst, stockbroker perhaps? or maybe just a teacher? Well meanwhile I'll just keep studies as my ultimate goal before heading into uni pursuing my honours degree.

So that's all for today I can say. Writing gives me the feeling of being papered, by myself. It feels as though all your expression and feelings and emotions and thoughts are being shout out! Just wonderful :) And i have got to continue on my work.

Till then, enjoy life as it is, always.

彻底失望

Just mere disappointment. 

When I first got the news, my heart sank. I did not know how to feel, nor how to react. Sigh. I tried so hard not to think about it cause I was in mid of athlete training and selections. I tried so hard. I was dreading and hoping that time would pass quickly, so that I could make it home before I break down. 

And I broke the news to her. She thought so she said. That makes me feel even down. Like having to face disappointment isn't enough, I have to bear the fact that you weren't even there for me when I needed you. I should have know that you weren't supporting me right from the start. 

I'm sorry. I should have perform better. It was none other than my own fault. Sorry, Cyn. :( 

Don't tell me the sky's the limit when we, humans made it to the moon. 

It's been a disastrous week for me. Everything is just not right. Well on the bright side, at least I still made it through the day. And finally restless nights are finally over. :)

Thanks Anna for lifting me up when I'm down. I really appreciate your help, even when nobody else was. You're real sweet and nice and cool and awesome and always so cheerful. Thank you so much! Will definitely miss you after college life :)
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Going for Mizuno Wave Run 2013 tomorrow! I am going to clock my furthest distance - 16km! Hope I'll be able to come back in one piece XD All the best to those participating :)