Miss: To discover the absence of loss of.

I miss my dad.

I feel like hugging him just for one more time, telling him not to worry about me in everything that I'm pursuing, telling him for the very last time that I Love Him very much, and also that I'm sorry for......

Sigh

I just, can't seem to forget it. Forget in the sense that not literally forget the whole incident but in the sense that I would not be influence by it any more. And recently I went to a Chinese Church Camp - 超越另一个自我. This was my first time attending a Chinese base Church camp. It was more game base as I think it is to introduce others to join.

And there was one section where we share out our thoughts and feelings. The main preacher shared first, then we were divided into groups and was to asked to share. Our teacher shared first. Their testimony/story was very touching, I was keeping my tears all the way. Till Weng Hong shared his part of his story. I felt pity for him. And then Jing Fei asked whether do I want to share, I was thinking thinking and thinking. And at last I told the teacher that I didn't feel like sharing cause, there's a reason to this. And I think I shall keep it to myself.

And at that moment, I thought about what the teacher said, to forget your past, which I think I can't handle it quite well. Sometimes I might feel great, but sometimes I don't. I always try to keep myself busy from avoiding myself to think this issues over and over again. I try my very best to avoid. That's what I did for almost 4 years, since he left. 

说来说去，我还是超越不了自己那一关。

Go beyond your limits, 

It's not as easy as talking. SIGH