lost at nowhere

Went to bed at 10.47p.m. Considered quite early for a teenager today huh? Woke up around 12a.m. Feeling so restless and worried. Tried so hard to go back to sleep. And woke up again. This time around 4.30a.m. This time, I gave up trying to go to bed again. Instead, I did something unusual. I had my TAWG. And I poured out everything to Him. Every thing. 

I teared. Silently. And then went back to bed. So that I wouldn't wake anyone up. 

Beep beep beep 

Alarm rang. And woke up. Get prepared and did my usual routine. Sleep through the whole journey to college. Was so tired and tired and tired. But, I still managed to got through the day. 

Sometimes I feel so lost out there in the world. And I just miss my dad so much. I wish he was back here with us. But this wish will only remain as a wish, forever. 

Until then. :') I will still try to stay optimistic. I'll try, can't promise though

A lil expression

Just few days ago, this friend of mine was chatting with me. As usual, she was very caring and concern about how's things going around. She noticed that I was struggling at that point and gave me a few words. She told me to let go and surrender. And at that point, I don't think it is possible to let go. It wasn't an option, it wasn't a choice. It was something I had to take up. Something I must.

I was so worried for the whole night. I couldn't sleep well. Woke up around 3-4 times realizing I was so sad and despair, despair for hope, love and most of all, security. Even these days, I find myself restless.

XXX Please help. I need your help. Please don't let me walk alone, walk with me.

My infinite blessings

Hey sis, 

Just so you know, I appreciate the days when you fetch me to college. Early in the morning, sometimes we encounter traffic jam. And I'm right beside you either sleeping or eating my breakfast. But most of all, I thank you for hearing to all my complaints and grumbling about how things is. I thank you for being so patient waiting for me every Thursday for my CF to end, I thank you for waiting for my class to end every single day and fetch me back home. Traffic jam are worse in the evening. But all in all, I really thank you for being my sis. 

Hey friend,

I've know you not long, around two months I could say. But I can say that you are a very caring person. You took the initiative to message me almost every week to ask how's things going on. You constantly encourage me when I was down and struggling in life. I appreciate that. I really do. But sometimes I just feel that I am such a burden and I don't really want to use up too much of your time. I like the fact that you are always very cheerful and you never seemed to have your down days :) Thank you so much. 

All in all, I give thanks :) 

She's indecisive, She can't decide.

I am seriously in doubt which event to go to on April 21, 2013. Should I go for the KL Int. Jazz Earth Day Run or SCF Camp?

Why must both event be on the same day? :(




Ahhhhhhhhhhhh what now?

Staying optimistic and thankful for everything!

Hellooooooooo people! 

After so long of not blogging, I'm finally back! Three months passed and am still surviving through Ausmat! I do really enjoy this campus, very very much. The people and the environment, just amazing. But the fact to face the jam every evening is just some thing that I wish I could escape from, but I couldn't. Anyway I AM STILL THANKFUL for what I am doing now. 

I joined Sunway's CF club not long ago and I really do enjoy all the activities held. Despite I do not have sufficient time for everything but I will try to make time for it. About SCF camp? Still indecisive. That depends how things go. My heart tells me to go but my brain says no. So I'm currently like stuck in the crossroad and have no idea what to do. People keep persuading and I know it's like once in a year and Pre U life is so short, Ausmat is like just 11 months! But then my results are sort of not good and I'm not sure whether can I afford to go......... 

Things aside.  

So my EE1 (Evaluation Exam 1) is over but the test results are just a bit.....disappointing. I did not manage to get a perfect score for my Accounts quiz and test by a miss of 3 marks! 3 marks!!!!! So mad at myself sometimes. And my maths papaer. Not even a HD! Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? And my Econs paper. And ELD. And BME. Ahhhh HEN FAN AHH 

Sorry but time's up, I have to jog now. 

I want to lose more weight. BYE.